Bonenanza

Bonenanza is a fan made episode written by Magic-is-cute, Disneydude15 and Rigsrigsrigs10918.

Premise
Holly and the Pound Puppies go camping for vacation, but there camping site is near an old west style town that is being threatened by a gang of bandits.

Part One
(Holly and the Pound Puppies are sitting around a camp fire.)

Bright Eyes: Thank you for taking us on this camping trip, Holly.

Holly: You're welcome, Bright Eyes.

Cooler: Should we roast marshmallows now, Holly?

Holly: Sure. They're in that picnic basket.

(Cooler goes to a picnic basket and finds that there are no marshmallows inside.)

Cooler: They're not in here.

Dumbo: Oops. I forgot to pack them.

Beamer: Dumbo, you idiot! Now, what are we going to eat!

Igor: There's a small town over there, we could walk to it and buy some.

Holly: Ok.

(The Pound Puppies and Holly walk into the town and see that it is old west style and is inhabited by cats, dogs, and humans.)

Sandra: Let's walk over to the general store over there.

(Holly and the Pound Puppies walk into the store.)

Store Owner: Hello there, can I help you?

Beamer: Yeah, we need some.....

(A cat walks into the store.)

Store Owner: Jumping Jiminy Crickets! It's Kitty James, the second in command of the Long Claws!

Beamer: Kitty Who?

Kitty James: Give me all your money or I'll rub you out!

(Pulls out a shampoo gun. Drumstick sees the shampoo gun and covers his mouth to control his laughter.)

Cooler: What's up, Drumstick?

Drumstick: Nothing, Cooler. It's just that shampoo gun is the most pathetic weapon I've ever seen.

Store Owner: Please, Mr. James, have mercy on us.

Momo: Don't worry. I got this.

(Just as Momo was about to attack, a dog walks in the store.)

Dog: I reckon you drop that soap bottle, you fish-eatin' varmint.

Store Owner: Leaping Librarians! We're saved! It's Clint Eastwoof, the leader of the Justice Mutts!

Clint Eastwoof: You were expecting maybe Bill Buffalo?

Beamer: Okay, what's going on here?

Cooler: Looks like we're in a reanactment of The Good, The Bad, and the Furry.

(A cat enters.)

Cat: Kitty James! What's keeping you?

Store Owner: Suffering Sassafras! It's Templeton Catscratch, the commander of the Long Claws!

Kitty James: Sorry, boss, but this here varmint is in my way.

Clint Eastwoof: (Turning to Templeton Catscratch) Well. Templeton "Green Eyes" Catscratch. We meet again.

Templeton Catscratch: Clint Eastwoof. (Pulling out a ray gun) My old enemy from high school.

Clint Eastwoof: What brings your sorry tails into Tossin Town?

Holly and Pound Puppies: (Confused) Tossin Town?

Chew Chew: Who'd name a town like this?

(Templeton aims his ray gun at the floor and it turns out to be a laser beam pet toy and Clint Eastwoof chaises the laser beam around playfully. Templeton laughs.)

Templeton: That takes care of him! Now, Kitty James, give them the works!

(Just as Kitty James is about to shampoo them, Drumstick continues laughing.)

Kitty James: What's so funny?

Drumstick: Your weapon! What are you going to do next, give us pedicures?

(Then, a masked dog comes in. The masked dog wiggles his toes.)

Masked Dog: I think you better leave those folks alone.

Kitty: Or else what, you toe-wiggling yutz?

(The masked dog throws pies at Templeton and Kitty's faces.)

Masked Dog: Does that answer your question?

Sandra: Ok, things are really getting weird now.

(Templeton and Kitty run out of the store.)

Clint Eastwoof: Thank you, for saving us. Tossin Town has never had a dog braver than you.

Sandra: Who is this very handsome....I mean this courageous dog?

Clint Eastwoof: He's the Bone Ranger, a fellow member of the Justice Mutts.

Sandra(shyly): Hi, Bone Ranger. I'm Sandra.

(The Bone Ranger tips his hat to Sandra as he wiggles his toes.)

Bone Ranger: Pleased to meet you, madam.

Cooler: So, you must be an expert pie thrower, aren't you?

Bone Ranger: Certainly. I also make them.

(Holly buys some marshmallows.)

Holly: Ok, I have some marshmallows, now let's get back to our camp.

Sandra: I have to go now, but I wish I could stay here longer.

Bone Ranger: How about you and your friends come back tomorrow and I could show you around?

Sandra: Ok, farewell.

(Holly and the Pound Puppies walk back their campsite.)

Howler: Aroo! Now that was a strange town.

Gordon: Certainly. Who'd name their town Tossin Town?

Drumstick: And that shampoo gun. That was very pathetic. What was he going to do, shampoo us to death?

Momo: And I thought that Catscratch character got serious when he pulled out his ray gun. Too bad it turned out to be a laser pointer.

Reflex: And who goes around saying "Suffering Sassafras, Leaping Librarians, and Jumping Jiminy Crickets" anymore?

Sandra: On the bright side, that Bone Ranger is very handsome.

Dexter: Don't tell me you're in love with him.

Sandra: I am, Dexter. I'll never forget his face. What a man! So handsome, so dashing. His red bandana, the white hat, teal blue suit, the way he wiggles his toes, and the way he throws pies. (Giggles and sighs romantically) He's so dreamy.

(Dexter grabs his throat and makes choking gestures to express his disgust with romance.)

Dexter: Mush.

(They arrive at their campsite.)

Cooler: Alright, pal-a-roonies. We'll roast our marshmallows and then we'll turn in for the night.

(Meanwhile, in an old warehouse, Templeton and Kitty James are standing before a shadowy figure.)

Figure: What do you mean you didn't get the money?!

Kitty James: We'd try to, boss, but that toe-wiggling yutz Bone Ranger interfered with the robbery.

Figure: You fish-eating fools!

Templeton: We are terribly sorry, boss.

Figure: No matter. I have a better plan. And this time, you better not fail, understand?

Templeton and Kitty James: Yes, boss.

Part Two
(Holly and the Pound Puppies are asleep in their tent. Sandra wakes up and wakes the rest up.)

Sandra: Come on, everyone. Let's go!

Cooler: Huh, were we going somewhere?

Sandra: Yes, to Tossin Town.

Vigor: What, there again!?

Louie: Zat ridiculous town?

Holly: Everyone, calm down. There's nothing wrong with Tossin Town, it seems like a very friendly town, and I think we should get to know it's residents.

Cooler: Holly's right, puperoos. Why don't we give Tossin Town another try?

(Holly and the Pound Puppies walk to Tossin Town. The Bone Ranger, Clint Eastwoof, and three other dogs are waiting for them. The Bone Ranger tips his hat as he wiggles his toes.)

Bone Ranger: Hi, everyone. You came ealier than we expected.

Holly: Hi, Bone Ranger.

Clint Eastwoof: First we'll interduce you to the rest of the Justice Mutts.

Bone Ranger: That's over there is Little Chi.(Points to chihuahua beside Clint Eastwoof)

Little Chi: Howdy, folks.

Clint Eastruff: And over beside him are Annie Barkley and Dogto.

(Annie Barkley and Dogto wave to Holly and the Pound Puppies)

Nose Marie: We're pleased to meet all of you.

Bone Ranger: Ok, let's begin the tour. Over there's the town hotel.

(Holly and the Pound Puppies follow the Justice Mutts into the hotel)

Annie Barkley: Here we are at the Tossin Town Hotel.

Clint Eastwoof: That pretty lil' pup over there is Spottieanna, the hotel manager.

Spottieanna: Howdy, Clint honey. Had any run-ins with those nasty lil' old Long Claws today?

Clint Eastwoof: Not yet, but I think they're on to something.

(Spotieanna's owner enters.)

Spotieanna's Owner: Howdy, Clint.

Clint: Howdy, Mr. Tennyson.

(A human girl, a girl dog, and a girl cat enter.)

Clint: That over there are the town's greatest entertainers: Mary Lou, Maribelle, and Mary Sue.

Mary Lou, Maribelle, and Mary Sue: Howdy!

Drumstick: That does it! I have enough!

(Drumstick walks out. Chew Chew and Bright Eyes notice and follow him outside)

Chew Chew: Drumstick, where are you going?

Drumstick: I'm going to get out of this town and back to our campsite.

Chew Chew: Why? This is a pretty neat town, Holly was right for us to give it a second chance.

Bright Eyes: Yeah, it's peachy keen with sprinkles and cherry on top.

Drumstick: But, it's boring and wacky here! And besides, I doubt that there are TV and video games...

(A female cat enters and ropes Drumstick and Bright Eyes away)

Chew Chew: Hey! Let them go!

(Chew Chew charges at the cat, but she simply swats Chew Chew away.)

Cat: How about no?

(Back inside the hotel...)

Holly: Where are Bright Eyes, Chew Chew, and Drumstick?

(Chew Chew runs into the hotel)

Chew Chew: Bright Eyes and Drumstick have been kidnaped!

Annie Barkly: By who?

Chew Chew: A gray cat with bright yellow eyes!

Clint Eastwoof: You must mean Glimmer, a member of the Long Claws?

Barkerville: I beg your pardon, Mr. Eastwoof, but who are the Long Claws?

Clint Eastwooff: They're a group of nasty feline bandits that have been messin around the town.

Sandra(worried): What do you think the Long Claws will do with Drumstick and Bright Eyes, Bone Ranger?

(The Bone Ranger gets a concern look on his face as he wiggles his toes.)

Bone Ranger: I don't know, but whatever it is, it can't be good.

(Meanwhille Bright Eyes and Drumstick are tied up in an old werehouse)

Glimmer: I guess it whould be ok to tell you our plan. It doesn't look like you'll be going anywhere.

Kitty James: We were hired to cause trouble around here by a person you must know.

(Kactus Jack Stoneheart enters.)

Drumstick and Bright Eyes: Kactus Jack Stoneheart!

Kactus Jack Stoneheart: You were expecting Chuck Norris?

(A very small cat enters the room)

Bright Eyes: Who's that cat over there?

Templeton Catscratch: That cat is Billy the Kitten. A fellow member of our group.

Kitty James: Now as I was saying, Kactus Jack Stoneheart has hired us to cause trouble.

Kactus Jack Stoneheart: Now, would you like to know what I'm going to do to Tossin Town?

Drumstick: No, what?

Glimmer: Billy, show them the map.

Billy: Yes, sir.

(Billy shows Drumstick and Bright Eyes the map.)

Kactus Jack Stoneheart: This is a map of Tossin Town. The red squares surrounding the town are time bombs.

Drumstick and Bright Eyes: Time bombs?!

Kactus Jack Stoneheart: Catcscratch! Bring me my device!

Catscratch: Yes, master.

(Catscratch pulls out what appears to be a remote.)

Drumstick: A TV remote?

Kactus Jack Stoneheart: It may look like a television remote, but it's actually a detonator for the time bombs I planted down below!

Bright Eyes and Drumstick: Oh no!

Kactus Jack Stoneheart: Oh yes! Kitty James! Billy the Kitten!

Kitty and Billy: Yeah, boss?

Kactus Jack Stoneheart: Bring the letter to the Justice Mutts and tell them that if they don't give up one million dollars, I'll blow up all of Tossin Town sky high!

(Bright Eyes and Drumstick get horrified looks on their faces.)

Bright Eyes: You wouldn't!

Kactus Jack Stoneheart: Oh, I would... and I will.

(Kactus Jack Stoneheart laughs evilly.)

Part Three
(Back at the Tossin Town Hotel, Cooler and the others are wondering what to do next.)

Chew Chew: I wonder where the Long Claws are holding Bright Eyes and Drumstick.

(They hear glass breaking. They see a broken window. On the floor lies a rock with a letter attached to it. The Bone Ranger then reads the letter.)

Bone Ranger: Dear Justice Mutts, I am holding two of the Pound Puppies hostage somewhere at the abandoned warehouse. I also demand that you hand over one million dollars. If you don't, I will blow up your town from here to kingdom come. I'll be waiting for the money. Signed, Kactus Jack Stoneheart.

Momo: I knew it. Kactus Jack Stoneheart was in on it too.

Mr. Tennyson: I knew it would come to this.

Bone Ranger: I think it's time we explain the truth about Tossin Town. You see, Tossin Town is not just our home town, it's a tourist attraction for fans of the Western genre.

Momo: Why was this town built?

Little Chi: The founder of Tossin Town has been inspired after watching too many western films and cartoons.

Spotienna: And if we don't do something to stop Kactus Jack Stoneheart, all of Tossin Town will be destroyed.

Cooler: We'd be absotively glad to save your town for you. But, the question is, what are we going to do now?

Clint Eastruff: I have a plan. Annie Barkley and several of the town's citizens will go underground, find the time bombs and deactivate them. Meanwhile, I will lead a rescue team to save Bright Eyes and Drumstick from Kactus Jack Stoneheart and the Long Claws. All in favor of saving Tossin Town from the Long Claws and Kactus Jack Stoneheart?

All: Aye!

Cooler: All right,everybody! Let's start pounding!

(Back at the Long Claws' hideout, Kactus Jack is eating soft-shell tacos with the Long Claws. Drumstick and Bright Eyes are still tied up.)

Drumstick: Katcus Jack!

(Kactus Jack notices Drumstick.)

Kactus Jack: What do you want?

Drumstick: Why do you want to destroy Tossin Town?

Kactus Jack: When I was a boy, I always dreamed of building a Western-esque town of my own. Unfortunately, some other person stole MY idea. Tossin Town was my idea, not his. To this day, I vowed to destroy the place and all of its citizens for good.

(He then finishes eating.)

Kactus Jack: All right, Long Claws! Time for roll call!

(Templeton, Kitty, Glimmer, Billy, and seven more cats form a line.)

Kactus Jack: Catscratch!

Templeton Catscratch: Here.

Kactus Jack: Kitty James!

Kitty James: Here!

Kactus Jack: Glimmer!

Glimmer: Here.

Kactus Jack: Billy the Kitten!

Billy: Here!

Kactus Jack: Wild Bill Hackup!

Wild Bill Hackup: Here!

Kactus Jack: Korat Masterson!

Korat Masterson: Here!

Kactus Jack: Johnny Ringtail!

Johnny Ringtail: Here!

Kactus Jack: Bella Fur!

Bella Fur: Here!

Kactus Jack: Whiskers Earp!

Whiskers Earp: Here!

Kactus Jack: Cole Yowler!

(Coler Yowler is sleeping.)

Kactus Jack: (Shouting) Cole Yowler!

(Cole Yowler wakes up.)

Cole Yowler: Here.

Kactus Jack: And last, but not least, Ragdoll Dalton!

Ragdoll Dalton: Here.

Kactus Jack: Now that everyone is present, let's pay a little visit to...

(Kactus Jack is hit in the face with a pie.)

Kactus Jack: Who threw that pie? Who threw that pie?

(Bone Ranger, the Justice Mutts, Cooler, and most of the Pound Puppies enter. The Bone Ranger wiggles his toes.)

Templeton: It's that toe-wiggling yutz, the Bone Ranger, and the Justice Mutts!

Bone Ranger: You were expecting Tom Hanks?

Kactus Jack Stoneheart: Heh. I should have known the rest of the Pound Puppies are involved.

Cooler: Let Bright Eyes and Drumstick go!

(Kactus Jack grabs Bright Eyes and Drumstick and holds them hostage.)

Kactus Jack: I'll tell you what. If you defeat all of the Long Claws, I'll let the brats go.

Templeton: The boss is right. And besides, you will never save Tossin Town. Once the boss pushes the button, Tossin Town will be blown to pieces.

Bone Ranger: Unfortunately for you, the town is already saved.

Kactus Jack: What do you mean by that?

Momo: Our friends have dugged the time bombs out of the ground and deactivated them. So, now, the time bombs are located to their rightful place.

Kactus Jack: Hmph. You just built yourself a death trap.

(Kactuc Jack was about to press the button, but he is hit by one of the Bone Ranger's pies, causing him to drop Drumstick and Bright Eyes. Clint Eastwoof catches the two.)

Templeton: Boss!

(While the Long Claw rush to Kactus Jack's assistance, Clint gently puts Drumstick and Bright Eyes down.)

Drumstick: Thank you.

Bone Ranger: Now, let's make our escape before those villains recover.

(Later, the Pound Puppies and Holly are at their camp site.)

Sandra: I'm sure going to miss that handsome Bone Ranger.

Cooler: Don't worry, Sandra. We'll visit Tossin Town again someday.

(A shadowy figure enters.)

Shadowy Figure: Did someone mention my name?

(The Pound Puppies and Holly notice the figure, now revealed to be the Bone Ranger. Sandra smiles warmly and hugs him. The Bone Ranger wiggles his toes.)

Sandra: It's so good to see you again.

Bone Ranger: I've been thinking. I noticed that you are in love with me, is that true?

Sandra: Yes.

Bone Ranger: Well, it's time I reveal to you who I am.

(The Bone Ranger takes off his mask. Sandra and her friends are surprised.)

Bone Ranger: My name is John Retriever. I became the Bone Ranger long ago after I joined the Justice Mutts. And yes, it was I who founded Tossin Town. I left the town in Cliint Eastwoof's good hands.

Sandra: You mean you want to join the Pound Puppies?

John: Yes. Yes I do. I hope you're not upset.

Sandra: Why would I be upset? I love you for who you are, even the way you wiggle your toes.

John: (Wiggling his toes) Oh, it's only a habit of mine.

Cooler: But, won't you miss Tossin Town?

John: Not to worry. I have a cell phone.

Bright Eyes: Gosh oh golly gee! You do?

(John nods.)

John: Despite our Western exterior, we're actually technologically advanced, just like you. So, I'll give Clint Eastwoof a call so that I can check up on Tossin Town.

(Momo brings the Pound Puppy book and John swores in as a Pound Puppy. He then signs the book and keeps his pen. Sandra hugs John.)

Cooler: Another day, another hap-hap-happy ending.

The End

Trivia
The Bone Ranger, Clint Eastwoof, Annie Barkley, Dogto, Kitty James, Billy the Kitten, Wild Bill Hackup, Korat Masterson, Johnny Ringtail, Whiskers Earp, Belle Fur, Cole Yowler, and Ragdoll Dalton are parodies of the Lone Ranger, Clint Eastwood, Annie Oakley, Tonto, Jesse James, Billy the Kid, Wild Bill Hickock, Bat Masterson, Johnny Ringo, Wyatt Earp, Belle Starr, Cole Younger, and Rob Dalton respectively.

This marks the first appearance of John Retriver(AKA, the Bone Ranger) and the Long Claws.

Next Episode Preview
Cooler: Next time on the Pound Puppies Show, looks like we're about to embark on another dangerous mission when we help the company supervisor of Seville and Seville Industries stop his father from wreaking havoc on Poundsville. I wonder why? Next week on the Pound Puppies Show, the Rise and Fall of Raoul Seville Sr. See you soon!

Japanese Opening Title
A picture of the Pound Puppies and Holly meeting the Justice Mutts as the subtitles read "Pai Sentou de sono Toshi taishite Seiyou Fan! Deau sono Hone Hi-ro soshite sono Seigi Zasshu!(Pie Fight at the Town for Western Fans! Meet the Bone Ranger and the Justice Mutts!)"