Delusional Iggy/The Farming Life isn't for Me

Delusional Iggy/The Farm Life Isn't for Me is a fan-made episode written CartoonLover, Rigsrigsrigs10918, Disneydude15, and Magic-is-cute.

Premise
After getting injured, Igor is trying to remember what happened while TJ, Gamma, and Marcus debate over how Igor got injured./Vladimir and Sonia, after being overworked at the farm, decide to pay a visit at Holly's Puppy Pound.

Part One
(In the Pound Infirmary, most of Igor's Body is covered in Bandages. Elaine and Slushy are examining him.)

Bright Eyes: So, will Iggy be okay, Young Doctor Whopper?

Whopper: Well, he's had a lot of damage, but he'll live. It will take time for him to heal.

Elaine: Speaking from an actual veterinarian, he will be recovered in five weeks.

Slushy: He'll have to take it easy in three weeks.

(Gamma, TJ, and Marcus are heard hollering at each other.)

Elaine: One moment. (To Gamma, TJ, and Marcus.) Marcus honey, TJ, Gamma, please be quiet. Igor needs some rest.

Slushy: Yeah.

Marcus: I'm sorry, Elaine sweetie. We were debating over who hurt Igor.

TJ: I suggest that it was an accident.

Gamma: It was no accident. Kaptain Kid Stoneheart hired an assassin to kill Igor.

Marcus: I thought Katrina tried to get Iggy's cat heart by hiring a mad doctor.

Elaine: Well, we don't know what happened. Please leave the room. Igor needs to have some quiet. We'll talk about what happened later. Okay?

Slushy: Yeah, so either shut up or pack up, okay?

(Inside the hospital room, Bright Eyes is watching over Igor...)

Bright Eyes: Iggy... I know you probably won't hear me, but good work on the adoption.

(Igor rubs his head.)

Igor: Adoption? I don't remember. I wonder what happened, Bright Eyes.

(Elaine and Slushy walk to Bright Eyes.)

Elaine: I hate to break this to you, but Igor has temporary amnesia. He will have his full memory back in five hours' time.

Whopper: In any case, we'll need to watch over him, in case of "From bad to worse".

Igor: Bright Eyes...? Good work, Bright Eyes, making a snowy replica of Whopper.

Whopper: Huh? Is he going kinda... (makes a cuckoo sound.)

Elaine: I believe he is suffering from hallucination.

(Marcus enters, giving Igor a peanut butter and banana sandwich.)

Marcus: I know what happened to you, Igor. I believe that you are under a drug that causes you to hallucinate. Then, you were viciously attacked by Brutus Stoneheart. I rushed in and was able to rescue you before he could deliver the death blow.

Elaine: Oh, come now, Marcus. All that happened is that Cooler found Igor seriously wounded. Not even he knows what happened.

Igor: (Looking at Marcus) Why are you dressed as a samurai?

(Marcus looks at himself.)

Marcus: Huh? I'm not wearing any samurai armor.

(TJ enters.)

TJ: I'll tell you what happened. (To Marcus) And it's better than your mythological story. (To Igor) You see, you got involved in a car accident. I rushed to the scene and was able to pull you out. I took a picture of the people who caused the accident. I should know, I have evidence.

Igor: Wha-- that's him! That's the red herring! Someone pull a chain so plastic fishes can fall on him!

(TJ looks around.)

TJ: Red herring? I don't see any red herring. But, have a look a this.

(TJ shows a picture of a wrecked car.)

Bright Eyes: Let me see that. (grabs the photo.) A wrecked car?! TJ! This cartoon is TV-Y, not TV-14.

TJ: The accident wasn't fatal. Everyone else got out in one piece.

(Gamma enters.)

Gamma: Give me that photo.

(Gamma grabs the photo. He then glares at TJ.)

Gamma: Moron. This is a photo of a wrecked model from Alvin's Auto-Wreck Auto Show.

(Tony enters, sobbing and carrying a bouquet of flowers.)

Bright Eyes: Tony...

Tony: (Shedding tears) Yes, Bright Eyes?

Bright Eyes: Take as much time as you want.

Tony: (Hugging Bright Eyes) Thank you so much.

Elaine: (Pushes Marcus, TJ, and Gamma out of the infirmary) Come on, let's go. Let Igor sleep.

Slushy: Yeah, Igor doesn't to hear flack from you three stooges.

Gamma: (Shouting) How dare You compare Us to-- (TJ and Marcus shush Him) Ah, Shush yourselves. (Glaring at TJ and Marcus) This isn't over.

Tony: Iggy, I know I can't say much, but I hope you recover.

Igor: Thank you, Mr. Pirate Captain.

(Tony gets a confused look on his face.)

Tony: Huh? And to think Sparky used to be the goofy one.

(Sparky enters.)

Sparky: I brought some delicious soup, Igsmeister.

Tony: Huh. I was just talking about him.

Sparky: Talking about who?

Tony: Nothing, Sparky. Iggy's gone bananas.

Sparky: Well, in that case, I could whip up a banana cake. Heh heh.

Tony: No, Sparky. I mean that Iggy's gone crazy. And this really isn't the best time for jokes.

Sparky: Oh.

(Sparky gives the soup to Igor.)

Sparky: Here ya go.

Igor: Thank you. (Looking at the soup) Is that a bowl of strawberry juice?

Sparky: I thought strawberry was a pinkish color.

(Sparky gets a confused look on his face.)

Sparky: What am I saying?! Now he got me confused.

Part Two
(Outside the infirmary, Gamma, TJ, and Marcus are still arguing with each other. Winky, Anchor, and Vigor enter.)

Winky: What's wrong?

Vigor: You're still arguing? Can't you read that sign which says "Quiet, Hospital Zone"?

Gamma: We can read, Vigor. We're still debating on how Igor got injured.

Anchor: In any case, uncle Gamma, I hope Iggy's ok.

(Inside the Infirmary, Bright Eyes and Tony are watching over Igor.)

Igor: Um, beautiful princess, could I please draw you? You have a sketch book and pencil?

(Tony grabs a pencil and sketch book.)

Tony: I don't know who he's calling a princess, but I'm hoping he's talking to you.

Bright Eyes: If you mean me, sure.

Igor: I can't move my arms much, but my paws can still move.

Tony: Can you move your legs and feet?

(Igor wiggles his toes.)

Igor: Yes. Hold a pose, please.

Bright Eyes: (Making a pose) Like this?

(Igor takes the pencil with his right foot and draws on a sketchbook while holding the pencil with his toes.)

Tony: I've heard of footnotes, but never foot drawings.

(Momo and Violet enter.)

Violet: Why is Igor drawing with his feet?

Tony: Iggy can't move his arms. That's why Iggy is using his toes to draw a sketch of Bright Eyes.

Violet: Hmm. Whatever works.

(Momo pulls out a card.)

Violet: Momo and I just stopped by to give a present to Igor.

Tony: Is it a gift card for Iggy?

Violet: No, just a get-well card.

Igor: Hmm. Ah, a pup wearing a sombrero. Very good.

Violet: I beg your pardon? (checks the card, which is actually a drawing of Violet and Momo holding a first aid kit.)

Tony: You'll have to forgive Iggy. He's just seeing things that aren't really there. Anyway, I'm sorry. I thought it has a gift card inside.

Iggy: Ah, done. (Uses his left foot to give Bright Eyes the sketch which is Bright eyes dressed like a Roman Empress.)

Bright Eyes: Uh, wow. That's very nice. A drawing of me as a Roman Empress. (Thinking) His injury must have been affected his eyes. Fortunately, his vision will heal. (Aloud) That's great, Iggy, and thanks.

Igor: (Giving a peace sign with his foot) You're welcome. Huh? When did this room turn into sand?

(Gamma, Winky, and Anchor enter.)

Anchor: Are you sure you want to tell Iggy what happened, uncle Gamma?

Gamma: Yes. (To Igor) Igor. I know what happened to you.

Tony: Oh, really? Tell us.

Gamma: Well, it all started when I was minding my own business, playing my ocarina. Suddenly, I overheard Kaptain Kid talking to an assassin he hired. What I overheard is that the assassin was hired to kill you, but you must have gotten away with serious injuries. Fearing for your safety, I sent Cooler to look for you. Sure enough, Cooler found you and that's how it happened.

(Igor is now speaking gibberish.)

Bright Eyes: What did he say?

Tony: Looks like Iggy is having another symptom: speaking nonsense.

Gamma: Hmm... The assassin almost got you. I have evidence to prove it.

(Gamma pulls out a tape recorder.)

Gamma: Behold! The actual conversation between Kaptain Kid and his assassin.

Tony: Can't you give it a rest? The way you have evidence is like you're stalking poor Iggy. Besides, that's not how Cooler told me.

Gamma: I was not stalking Igor. Now, pay attention.

(Gamma presses the play button.)

Kaptain Kid's voice: The reason why I hired you is because one of those Pound Puppies claimed that he has a cat's heart.

Assassin's voice: And what do you want me to do, boss?

Kaptain Kid's voice: I want you to kill Igor and bring back his heart in this box. Do you understand?

Assassin's voice: Yes, boss. I won't fail.

(The conversation stops.)

Gamma: Now do you see what I mean?

Tony: Hey, tape recordings aren't admissible evidence. That's why We have lie detectors.

(Gamma pulls out a video camera.)

Gamma: Would you say otherwise?

(Gamma then presses the play button. It shows Kaptain Kid having a discussion with his assassin.)

Kaptain Kid: I want you to kill Igor and bring his heart back (shows the box) in this box. Do you understand?

Assassin: Yes, boss. I won't fail.

(The tape ends.)

Gamma: Now, what do you have to say to that?

Tony: Only Cooler can say if that's legit evidence. Just stop badgering us. besides I see the zippers on the backs of they who You claim are Kid and His henchman.

Gamma: I am not badgering. All Cooler told me that he found Igor badly injured and not even he knows what happened. I'll show him the tape and prove that Igor was a victim in a murder-for-hire plot. Wait here.

(Gamma storms off.)

Tony: Bright Eyes, should Gamma be reprogrammed to be less Jumpy to Conclusions? the real article shouldn't be debated.

Gamma: (Off-screen) I told you that I'm a cyborg, not a robot! Can't you ever see the difference between a cyborg and a robot?!

Igor: Why are you guys fighting over grilled cheese sandwiches?

(Tony, Bright Eyes, Anchor, Winky, Violet, and Momo look at Igor with confused looks on their faces.)

Bright Eyes: But, Iggy, we don't have grilled cheese sandwiches.

Violet: Well, once Iggy's mind is revived, we can put an end to the arguing once and for all.

Part Three
(Gamma, TJ, and Marcus, now joined by Holly, Cooler, and Elaine, enter.)

Gamma: All right. Now that Cooler is here, I shall prove without a shadow of a doubt that Igor was a victim of a murder for hire plot.

(Gamma was about to show Cooler and Holly, but Igor stops him.)

Igor: Wait! It's all coming back to me! I remember now.

Gamma: All right, Igor. Will you kindly tell everyone... (glaring at TJ and Marcus) And I mean everyone... (softly petting Igor) What happened to you?

Igor: Hmm... Let me see. After the Adoption, I was soon spooked after hearing someone which sounded like Kaptain Kid. I ran like crazy and I fell into a sinkhole. From what I was told, a camper found inside me, and got me out. Then afterwards, everything went black.

(TJ and Marcus give sly looks at Gamma.)

Gamma: But... I don't understand. Wait, what exactly did the camper look like?

Igor: Hmm... From what I gathered, he was four feet, eight inches, wore a baseball cap, a badge sash...

Gamma: By any chance, he wouldn't happen to look like... (shows Igor the image of the assassin, who is exactly what Igor described) this, do you?

Igor: What? No! And when did you take that picture?!

Gamma: I took the picture while I was witnessing Kaptain Kid talking to the assassin you just described. (Smirking at Marcus and TJ) Any objections?

Igor: Assassin?! NO! I said I was injured 4 days ago. Besides, that photo was made over a week ago.

Gamma: No matter how old it is, evidence is evidence. Shortly after Cooler found you, I showed the evidence to my friends back at the police station and had him arrested. Of course, he confessed to the assassination plot and had a bottle of anesthesia followed by a bottle of DM13 and a meat cleaver.

Igor: I told you, I wasn't targeted after the adoption. Why won't you listen to reason?! I... fell... in... a... Sinkhole! That camper you claim that he's an hired henchman helped me out.

(Gamma shows Igor the video camera footage. It shows the assassin in jail, making an apology.)

Assassin: Igor, if you're watching this video, I want to say that I'm sorry for knocking you out with the anesthesia and trying to kill you. I was jealous of you and I went to Kaptain Kid to get rid of you. I hope you'll understand.

Igor: But... that's not possible... Cooler? We need Whopper's Lie Detector. I want to be double sure.

Gamma: That wouldn't be necessary. (Pulls out a folder) Here are the actual results of the lie detector test given to the assassin back at the police station. Here the questions. "Did you try to kill Igor?", "Were you hired in a murder plot?" .  "Are you jealous of Igor?". Of course, he denied. The results... He was a flat-out liar except for the third, which he said "Why would I be jealous". Do you need any more information?

Igor: I mean a real Lie detector test with witnesses present. The results You gave, They don't count.

Vigor: Yeah. You were pressuring that guy, which affected the Detector. I think I'd agree with Iggy about reprogramming you.

(Gamma feels guilty and sheds a tear.)

Gamma: Alright. I made it all up. I made it up because nobody knows what happened to you. The footage was taken one week before you went to adoption. just so I could get some attention from the others. What else do you want from me?!

(Gamma angrily erases the video camera files and tears up the lie detector results.)

Gamma: But just to let you know, Igor, I was worried and scared for you. I was concerned that I got caught up in the story. And to make you feel more satisfied, I am resigning my position as a staff member of this pound.

(Gamma leaves, slamming the door behind him.)

Cooler: Gamma! Wait!

(Cooler goes after Gamma. TJ and Marcus smirk.)

TJ: Serves him right for being full of himself.

Marcus: Indeed. I never trusted that wannabe anyway.

Igor: Don't think you're off the hook, you two. You were fabricating as well, I have a special punishment for you two, and something else for Gamma... with Holly's input and Tony's OK.

TJ/Marcus: (With uneasy looks on their faces) Uh oh.

(Later, Outside Igor's house, Igor, in crutches, sits on the grass as He teaches Gamma the Law System. Bright Eyes, Dumbo, Momo, Cooler, Winky, and Anchor are with him.)

Igor: And so, that's why you can't make any abrupt accusations without a proper investigation, for they are called jumping to conclusions. So, you see, Gamma, it's called a fair trial. And any denial it would be a violation of the First Amendment.

Gamma: Hmm... I guess the law school I went to didn't teach me that.

Igor: So I guess you won't be resigning?

Gamma: Resign? No. Sometimes I say things I don't mean.

(TJ and Marcus, in maid outfits, enter. Gamma snickers and tries not to laugh.)

TJ: We cleaned Bright Eyes' dog house.

Marcus: Anything else you want us to do, Igor?

(Gamma gives Marcus and TJ a list.)

Gamma: Well... for you two. Igor made the list himself.

(Marcus and TJ look at the list.)

TJ: go on a nature hike with Vigor and Precious, give painting lessons...

Marcus: Kitchen duty at the Puppy Power Café for three days, shine Momo's bamboo swords, and...

Marcus and TJ: (Shocked) Massage Gamma's feet?!

Gamma: And make sure you massage in between my toes.

(Marcus and TJ groan and look at the camera and sit down)

Gamma: Igor, now that I learned about fair trails, I'm ready for my punishment. As long as it doesn't involve wearing a maid's outfit.

TJ and Marcus: (Embarrassed) Shut up, Gamma!

Gamma: Hey, just saying.

Igor: Well, Gamma, how about this? On the day Bright Eyes and I get married, you'll arrange the wedding. Whadda you say?

Gamma: Well, I have no objections to that.

Igor: Thanks. Bright Eyes will be quite happy.

Marcus: Hey! That's not fair!

TJ: How come he gets the wedding day arrangement and we massage his feet?!

Igor: Because Gamma learned his mistake and you didn't, that's why. and for shouting, Marcus will go to Anger-Management classes, and TJ? You will not scream out of spite for a week. and be grateful that I won't claw You in the face for ganging up on Gamma.

Gamma: I can assure you that your wedding will be the best.

Igor: Of course.

Gamma: I'll get started with the design soon.

(Gamma hugs Igor.)

Gamma: And now...

(Gamma sits down, takes his shoes and socks off, rests each foot on TJ and Marcus' laps and wiggles his toes.)

Gamma: You know what to do.

(TJ and Marcus moan and start massaging. Igor, Bright Eyes, Momo, and Cooler walk toward Gamma, TJ and Marcus.)

Igor: Well, looks like you have tasted the agony of "the feet".

(Igor laughs as he lifts his foot to the camera and wiggles his toes.)

Igor: Get it? Agony of "the feet"?

(Everyone else looks at Igor awkwardly.)

Igor: What?

End of Delusional Iggy

Part One
(At the rumpus room, Igor, Vigor, Precious, Chew Chew, Cookie, Cupcake, Winky, July, Drumstick, and Bright Eyes are playing goldfish.)

Igor: (Scratching his ear with his foot) Say, Winky, do you have any "queenies"?

Winky: "Queenies"?

Vigor: That's Igor's way of saying "queens".

Winky: Oh! Goldfish.

Igor: Darn it!

(Wishbone and Tony enter as Igor takes a card.)

Tony: Yo, Iggy, you have a phone call.

Igor: Thank you. (gets the phone.) Hello? Oh, hi, mom! What's that? You and dad are coming for a visit? Well, that sounds fine. When are you coming? Oh. Okay. Bye, mom. I love you too.

(Igor hangs up the phone.)

Wishbone: What's up, Iggy?

Igor: Mom and dad are coming for a visit.

Vigor(excited): Really?!

Igor: Yep. Wish I was prepared.

Wishbone: Your wish is my command.

(Wishbone claps his hands and Igor is dressed up in a gray suit, green tie, and white pants.)

Igor: I don't mean literally, Wishbone.

Wishbone: Sorry. It's just a habit of mine. It never gets old.

Igor: Well, thanks for trying to help.

Wishbone: Anytime, Igor.

Tony: Do you want me and Wishbone to help you guys get prepared for your parents arrival?

Igor: Sure. Every little bit helps.

Wishbone: Okay, let's get started. What do you want to wish?

Igor: Nothing much. It's only my parents visiting.

Wishbone: Your wish is my command.

(Wishbone stands on his hands and claps with his feet, making Vladimir and Sonia appear before Igor and Wishbone.)

Wishbone: Voila! Here are your folks.

Igor: Mom! Dad!

Vigor: Mother! Father!

(The twins hug Vladimir and Sonia.)

Igor: How was life at the farm?

Vladimir: To be honest, it was a lot of hard work.

Sonia: Your father, Peter, Jacey, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, and I had a very, very busy week. We were trying to grow our tomatoes, but the stupid gophers ate them all.

Vladimir: In addition, it rained for two days when we try to get on with the gardening.

Wishbone: Well, that didn't sound good.

Sonia: So, we asked ourselves, why don't we take it easy for a bit?

Vladimir: You know, just for a week?

Wishbone: Sounds good to me.

Igor: Well, now that you're here, what do you want to do first?

Vladimir: Well.... do you have a swimming pool?

Wishbone: Well, there's one at the gym. I'm the lifeguard there.

Vladimir: Iggy, your friend's real imaginative. He thinks he's something from a storybook.

Wishbone: Well, truth be told--

Igor: (whispering) Wishbone, If Dad figures out you're a genie, he could wish that his farm would have no hazards. To be honest, real farming is like a dying art.

Sonia: Iggy?

Igor: Sorry. We were having a conversation.

Vladimir: It's alright. Wishbone's a genie, and grants wishes to only those who have a good heart.

Igor: Huh?!

Vladimir: But Don't worry. I'm not gonna wish for a perfect garden. Where's the fun in that? But, I wouldn't mind a rest from my business of farming like growing corn, harvesting wheat, gathering tomatoes--

Vigor: We get it, father.

Vladimir: Sorry.

Igor: Have you thought about having some farmhands or grow a variety of vegetables and fruits in your farm?

Winky: Maybe Mr. Gamma and his students can help out. They can use the fresh air.

(Gamma and his class enter.)

Gamma: Someone say my name?

Winky: Mr. Gamma, Mr. Strayvinski and everybody at the Johnsons' farm have been overworked. Are you willing to help out?

Gamma: Sure. Today was a slow day at my dojo.

Vladimir: I appreciate the help. along with minimum wage, You'll each get $7.25 per hour.

Gamma: (Shakes Vladimir's hand) Sounds like a bargain to me. We'll get started now. See you in a week.

(Gamma and his students disappear.)

Vladimir: Iggy, what did you mean when you said "Variety of Vegetables and Fruits"?

Igor: Well, dad, there's a lot of fruits that can be grown from around the world like dates and pomegranates. even those that are planted in the pond, Like the farm district.

Vladimir: You know, I should tell Mr. and Mrs. Johnson about that.

(Later, Igor, Bright Eyes, Vigor, Vladimir, Sonia, Winky, Precious, Whopper, Gordon, Chew Chew, and Drumstick are playing by the pool. Wishbone, Momo and Marcus are watching them.)

Marcus: Remember not to run. You could slip and fall.

Whopper: We're not Children, Marcus.

Marcus: I was only looking out for your safety. Anything I can do for you?

Igor: Nope. We're okay, Marcus.

Marcus: Okay. Just let me know if you want anything.

Igor: In any case, dad, for some time, do you think you can enjoy nature at the Farm District? No?

Vladimir: Well, sometimes our owners would take us for a nature hike at the forest a mile from the farm. Very well, I don't mind resting under the shade of trees.

Igor: Ok. Vigor will take You there. it's an hour's walk to the Farm Branch division.

Winky: (While kicking the water) Are there any setbacks or downfalls?

Bright Eyes: It depends.

Vladimir: A division?

Igor: Yes. The Puppy Pound has plenty of divisions in the world.

Vladimir: Well, that's interesting.

Marcus: Momo, Elaine and I are going to Diving Bagels to bring back lunch. Anybody want something to eat before I leave?

Wishbone: Actually, I like to have a sandwich.

Igor: I'm not hungry, but thanks for asking.

Marcus: Anyone else want something to eat? I'd be happy to bring back something to eat.

Winky: I'm fine, Mr. McGillicuddy.

Marcus: Okay. See you later.

(Momo and Marcus leave.)

Igor: Say, dad, have you ever been to the Puppy Power Cafe?

Vladimir: No, I haven't, son. what food does this restaurant have?

Winky: The Puppy Power Cafe has all kinds of food. Wanna come and have a look with us?

(In the Café, Vladimir is shown inside.)

Vladimir: Ten Tables with 5 seats each, and an Industry-grade Kitchen? This pound has everything...! including the kitchen sink.

Louie: and what will be Your special, Monsieur Strayvinski?

Vladimir: Hmm... something that gives Me a nostalgic feeling... Mr. Head Chef.

Louie: Just call Me Louie, Sir.

Vladimir: Well, Louie, I would like to have Violet's Million Dollar Soup.

Sonia: Son, This is the perfect place to live. but, do you have a garden?

Igor: Actually, mom, we do have a garden and 30 fruit trees.

Sonia: No kidding.

Igor: But, does Dad know that certain fruits and vegetables can be grown in a pond?

Sonia: Well, he hasn't before.

Igor: Hmm. perhaps Dad might learn some things at the Farm Division. live growing crops in a pond. perhaps much more. Who knows?

Wishbone: Actually, Bartrand, Stephanie and Rosy can teach you how.

Sonia/Vladimir: No Kidding? We'll accept! (They Look at each other.) Huh?

Wishbone: Then, You can come to the Farm Division.

Vladimir: Very well.

​Part Two
(At the Farm Division, the Strayvinski family, Wishbone, Winky, Nose Marie, Bartrand, Rosy, and Bright Eyes are near a pond.)

Bright Eyes: Now, this is the farm division, where a clan from a farmhouse has adopted a family of dogs.

Bartrand: You seem to know them well, Bright Eyes.

Bright Eyes: Yeah. It's been some time since we last met.

Bartrand: Last met?

Nose Marie: Well, it was like this....

(Flashback of visions of Rusty holding Lucy, Lucy resting on her bed, as Rusty watches over her, and Lucy looking at her pups.)

Bright Eyes' Voice: Then, when we were watching over the pups....

(Visions of Candy, Andy, and Mandy, fighting like a tornado in various ways as the flashback ends.)

Bartrand: Wow. Was the fighting resolved?

Nose Marie: Yes. After Cooler suggested to them being in three separate homes.

Igor: I.... hope Cooler didn't scare them mentally.

Bartrand: Well, if he did when I return home and see Cooler.... Wait. This water's perfect for water crops. I'm surprised the Farm Division didn't place any seeds there. and there's plenty of plots in the garden.

(Lucy enters.)

Lucy: Nose Marie, is that you?

(Nose Marie hugs Lucy as Rusty enters.)

Nose Marie: Ah. it's been some time since I last saw you and Rusty.

Wishbone: So, how's the immortality working for you?

Rusty: It's going great. Thanks for asking.

Wishbone: Vladimir, Sonia, this is Rusty and Lucy a.k.a. the Patriarch and Matriarch of the Farm Division Pound Puppies. Rusty and Lucy, This is Vigor and Igor's Parents, Vladimir and Sonia.

(Vladimir shakes Rusty's paw.)

Vladimir: Please to meet you.

Rusty: Same to you. You look more like a Franz.

Rosy: Well, Rusty and Lucy, would you like to demonstrate how we plant seeds in ponds? Please?

Rusty: Well, The pond is too deep to plant something, thanks to yesterday's rainstorm, but fortunately, there is a small Paddy Field to grow watercress.

Rosy: Watercress? That's a medicinal Herb. Do you sell these to Hospitals?

Igor: And what do Watercresses cure?

Rosy: (Reading a book) The Health benefits of Watercress, Iggy, and contains significant amounts of iron calcium, iodine, and folic acid along with Vitamins A and C. because the Watercress is rich in Vitamin C, It's a good cure for Scurvy.

(Rusty and Lucy's Six pups appear next to Their Parents.)

Wishbone: Aw! Those must be your puppies. I see that they're dressed up as elemental wizards. Are they going to a Medieval Fair?

Lucy: Well, No. but, at October, We'll have a medieval fair.

Wishbone: Fantastic.

Randy: You must be the Cat-hearted Igor.

Igor: Well, Yes. Thank You for asking. (Sweats a little bit as He scratches the back of His neck.) I do own a small ghost pepper plant and I use the substance for a certain prank.

Bright Eyes: You don't have to be afraid, Iggy. They knew you have a cat heart. Your brother told them when he watched the stars with Precious.

Vigor: Oh! Um, Everyone, This is Rusty and Lucy's second wave of Pups: Sandy, Tandy, and Randy.

Nose Marie: Well, hello there.

Vladimir: Rusty, Did your vegetables win any awards in any Farm fair, like Blue Ribbons or platinum plaques?

Rusty: Well, we won a few here and there.

Vladimir: Ah. You grow Rice, Cranberries, Wasabi? what about Cattails?

Rusty: Rice and cranberries, yes. But, what is Wasabi?

Rosy: Well, Wasabi is exclusively grown in a few regions of Japan. The wasabi roots are very, very spicy and difficult to cultivate, making it very expensive. also the wasabi vapor is sort of a makeshift Smelling salt. In fact, a Wasabi root is worth $3.80 and making wasabi paste from the root needs a grating metal.

Rusty: Wow! You are one smart mink! Were you in a culinary school?

Rosy: No.

Vladimir: Anyway... (removes His glasses and cleans it) You grow Cattail plants as well, Rust?

Lucy: Well, we did one time, but they got ruined by last week's heat wave.

Sonia: A Drought, huh? Do you grow Fruit Trees like Lime Trees? perhaps Apple Trees? No?

Rusty: Yes. In fact, we have a lot.

Igor: (Pales) I... hope you didn't plant any onions or peaches in any garden...

Lucy: Oh, heaven forbid! We never plant peaches and onions!

Sonia: (sighs.) That's good news.

(Vladimir checks the trees.)

Vladimir: Hmm. No Bark removed from this one. You two must have done a lot of work to take care of Your trees.

Rusty: Indeed we do.

Rosy: I taught Lucy and Rusty all about tree care.

Sonia: No Kidding? and what do You do to the fruits and vegetables after plucking them?

Rusty: Well, we hold a market sale for our crops.

Vladimir: Uh, do You have tree swings or Treehouses for Memory Lane reasons?

Bartrand: I don't mean to be impatient, but can we get with how to plant seeds in ponds? Of course, since you two are the leaders, why don't you show them how?

Rusty: and You are...?

Bartrand: I'm Bartrand. a.k.a. Cooler and Nose Marie's descendant from the year--

(Nose Marie covers Bartrand mouth)

Nose Marie: Sorry, Bartrand, but you mentioning to Them that You're from the future could cause Chaos and Calamity to the future.

Lucy: That's okay, Nose Marie. We already know.

Nose Marie/Bartrand: What?

Bartrand: How long have You known?

Rusty: Gamma and Cooler told the whole story to us and told us to be gentle when we see one of the descendants.

Lucy: Let's see. there were Seven of You from the future.

Rusty: (To Bartrand) You, the Once-Arrogant one is Kin to Cooler and Nose Marie.

Bartrand: Y-Yes.

Candy: Is the formerly furious one kin to the Inventor?

Andy: The once-voracious one is kin to the Chef?

Mandy: By any chance, The Once-desiring one is kin to You, Bright Eyes and Vigor's Brother?

Sandy: and the once Slothful one is Whap-- Wham--

Candy/Andy/Mandy: It's Whopper!

Sandy: Ok! Sorry!

Tandy: and the Once-Envious is the descendant of Mr. Must be clean?

Randy: and the Avaricious one is kin to the Dignified of the pound?

Bartrand: In that order, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, and Yes.

Vladimir: Pardon me, but can we get on with the planting seeds at the paddy fields?

Bartrand: Sorry. Sure.

Vladimir: Now, Rusty, can you point us to the nearest paddy field?

Rusty: Sure.

(At the paddy field...)

Vladimir: Hmm. It looks ankle deep and it's the perfect height. Congratulations.

Rusty: Thank you.

Rosy: Well, Vladimir, are you ready for the basics?

Vladimir: Yes please.

Bartrand: Okay. We'll start with the first step: planting rice. It's like placing unfinished tulips on a water garden. (the rest of the gang follow suit, but Vladimir sees a blackish worm on His wrist.)

Rusty: however, when planting water plants, there are some small hazards like--

Vladimir: Worms! Worms! Get them off me!

Rusty: Vladimir? Why are you--

Vladimir: Black Worms! Help! Get it off!

Lucy: I think you meant to say leeches. They'll attach to your body and absorb your blood.

Vladimir: What?! A vampire leech! Get it off before I turn into a vampire!

Bright Eyes: Mr. Strayvinski, you're not becoming a vampire. (Removes the leech from Vladimir's wrist and places it in a fishbowl.)

(Vladimir sighs with relief.)

Vladimir: Thank you. I almost had a heart attack.

Rusty: May I continue?

Vladimir: Sure.

Rusty: Now, is everyone ready for the second step?

Sonia: Which is waiting for it to grow?

Lucy: With some time, yes.

Wishbone: Actually, which spot in your paddy field would you recommend planting in?

Rusty: Hmm... Let me see... I think the best spot would be over there.

Vladimir: Okay.

(The group walks toward the spot and Vladimir plants the seed in the spot.)

Vladimir: Like this?

Rusty: Yes.

Vladimir: Any more planting tips you would like to share?

Rusty: Hmmm...

Wishbone: How about you teach them how to plant pomegranates?

Vladimir: Well, I have my own farm back home, but I never knew plants could be grown in ponds.

Rusty: Maybe we can help you out at your farm.

Vladimir: Well, thank you for the offer, but I'm having Mr. Gamma and his students helping out at my owners' farm.

Rusty: Oh.

(Gamma appears in front of the group.)

Gamma: Just a quick note, Vladimir. Everything is fine at the farm.

Vladimir: Good to hear.

Gamma: Well, back to work.

(Gamma disappears.)

Vladimir: Now, Rusty, can you teach me how to grow pomegranate?

Rusty: Sure. Come over to our pomegranate garden.

(Later, the group is at the pomegranate garden.)

Wishbone: Well, it certainly is a quaint garden.

Vladimir: So this is a pomegranate garden.

Rusty: Yes. Yes it is.

Vladimir: What steps should I take to grow those kind of fruit?

Rusty: Well, here's the first step. First, you need a spot to plant your seed.

(While Rusty is explaining instructions to Vladimir, Winky, Igor, Bartrand, and Wishbone are looking at the pomegranates.)

Wishbone: Well, these pomegranates look delicious.

Igor: They sure do.

Winky: I wonder if they look good enough to eat.

(Lucy walks up to them.)

Lucy: Actually, they are.

Bartrand: Well, I guess you won't want us to eat any. I understand.

Lucy: Well, to be honest, I have some samples of pomegranate for you to enjoy. Follow me, please.

(Lucy shows them to a table with pomegranate samples on it.)

Lucy: We just picked these out today. Have a taste.

Bartrand: Sure.

(Bartrand tastes a sample.)

Bartrand: Mmm! This is delicious.

Lucy: Yes. Right now, we're currently working on making seed-free fruit. We don't grow peaches or onions. They're extremely bad for cats and dogs alike.

Igor: Sounds very interesting. Any more samples you have?

Lucy: There's plenty. We have apples, oranges, grapes, and limes. Care for a sample?

(Rusty is seen showing Vladimir how to plant pomegranate seeds.)

Rusty: And that's how you grow pomegranate.

Vladimir: I see. Very interesting.

Rusty: Have you ever grown pineapple before?

Vladimir: No. I haven't before.

Rusty: Perhaps I should teach you how....

Vladimir: Okay, Rusty.

Rusty: First, you....

(Later....)

Vladimir: Okay. I get the picture now. Thank you, Rusty.

Rusty: No problem, Vlad.

Vladimir: So, what now?

Rusty: Let me see... have you ever grown coconut trees before?

Vladimir: No.

Rusty: No?

Vladimir: Coconut trees are sensitive to cold. After one day in the cold, they expire.

Rusty: Oh, I see.